Why I Shouldn't Write Books for Children

Yesterday Les and I went to Maplewood Rose Garden in Rochester. It was a good time, but was smaller than we were lead to believe. So after exploring the roses that weren't completely wilted from the heat, we went to Holy Sepulchre Cemetery hoping it would be interesting like nearby Mt. Hope. It wasn't, not even close, in fact. But while we were driving around we did see quite the show near one of the mausoleums. I thought I would share this story, and it's important moral, like a children's book. 

Once upon a time there was a red-tailed hawk named Humphrey. Humphrey was hungry. So Humphrey stared at his favorite tree where Suzie the squirrel lived.

When Humphrey saw Suzie in the tree he jumped at her.

But Suzie was smart, and when Humphrey jumped at her, she ran down the tree.

And then Humphrey fell out of the tree.

Humphrey knew that if at first you don't succeed, you have to try again. So he shook himself off while Suzie ran back up the tree.

He found Suzie in the tree again.

And made a bigger jump than before.

But Suzie made a bigger jump too.

While Humphrey fell again, Suzie ran away and hid.

Two nearby crows had watched Humphrey's attempts, and now they were laughing at him. Humphrey was embarrassed, so he flew away very quickly. 

Dejected and still hungry, Humphrey perched on a nearby roof and watched the crows who were teasing him eat bugs and grains to their heart's content.

The moral of the story, boys and girls, is that life is a bitch. Bigger animals will try to eat you. Sometimes you don't get what you need even when you try you hardest. And those who have life easy will mock and ridicule your struggle.

And that's why I don't write children's books. (BTW that photo of Humphrey flying away was taken at 1/400 of a second and his wings were moving even faster than that.)