Thoughts on Being "Back East" From a Western Girl

Having been in western New York for a few months now I thought I would share a few observations. I have lived in the east before, as a child. But really I'm a western girl at heart. I was born in California, practically raised in Utah, most of my family and friends are in Utah or Washington and I do love the weather in the desert better than anywhere else I've ever been.

All in all I think this move has been good for us. Les has a much better job and my job is almost as good as the one I had in Washington. Putting some distance between us and our families has been interesting. It doesn't seem to have any effect on my relationship with my family except that my dad is much more excited to come see us here than he was in Vernal or Price. And why shouldn't he be Niagara Falls (something he's always wanted to see) is way cooler than Starvation Reservoir or Scofield. It is straining our relationships with Les's family more. My attempt to relate to them based on actual thoughts and feelings through email has done nothing but cause problems. I think especially his parents much preferred the relationship where we came to the house and all conversation revolved around the church, the happy past where everyone was Mormon or the weather. In the big picture I think it has been good for Les to have some distance from his family. he's sometimes had a hard time in the past separating himself from them and I think some physical distance will help him figure out who he really is and not who he is expected to be, which is a very big part of most exmormons' lives.

But that isn't what this post is really about (but can you tell it's been on my mind a lot lately?). There are some major differences that I've noticed, some good some bad, some just different.

First, population density. Until I moved to Price when I was 17 I was a city girl, through and through. I am to some degree, see the post from last March about that, but small towns have grown on me. While there are small towns out here, they are all so close together and so close to a big city that the "small town feel" like in Price, Entiat, Chelan and even Wenatchee is gone. The small towns around here are more like slightly isolated suburbs. There is also very little open space or public land, a pretty big change from Utah, where the federal government is the largest landholder.  This means there are more things to see, but less of it is accessible. It's sorta putting a kink in my photography.

There are a ton of things to see around here. We are only a few hours away from New York City, Philidelphia, Pittsburg, Boston, D.C. and a ton of other historical and cultural centers of America. On one hand it feels older, like there is more history here. On the other hand the history I enjoyed so much in the Southwest is actually older and I love the mystery surrounding it.

Then there's the coffee. Living in Washington I was in the heart of coffee lover land, you would think I would have found the best coffee in the world in the birthplace of Starbuck's. But that isn't the case. I have found it here, in western New York. To be fair it comes from Canada and I could have gotten in it in B.C. but it would have been a few hours drive. It is Tim Horton's, I am officially addicted and I love it! It puts Starbuck's to shame, the coffee is MUCH better and it's about 1/4 of the price.

But the best thing is that even people's attitudes are different. The biggest example of this I can think of is the reaction I get to telling people I am childfree. Not one single person has said to me that I will change my mind, no one has asked if I hate all children, no one has even asked why. IT IS WONDERFUL! The closest I've been to being bingoed is when a friend and coworker said after meeting Les, "I really hope the two of you change your mind about having kids. You guys remind me of me and my husband and your kids would be the biggest smart-asses in the world, kinda like my kids." I took that as a compliment. In Utah I stopped telling people that I didn't want kids because I was constantly harassed and either told I was a bad person,wrong or both. I met people in Washington who respected my choice and even a few who shared it, but even there about half the people I told reacted like the people in Utah did.It is so nice to share something about myself and not be treated like some kind of freak. So maybe putting some distance between us and Utah will lead to both me and Les leading more authentic lives.