And, as anyone who knows me will attest, I HATE Christmas. Maybe it's from working in retail too long, maybe I'm just a humbug since I've hated it since I was a little kid, but I cannot stand that holiday. The music, the religious bullshit, the incessant commercials, the music, the crowds, the fact that it lasts for months and months, the music, the family drama, the horrible weather, I hate it all. And did I mention I hate the music? Aside from the music I think the thing that bothers me the most is the "me first, I'm more important that everyone else" attitude that people seem to have at Christmas time. Even people who would normally be nice and pleasant to be around, turn into egomaniacal jackasses while standing in line to buy Christmas presents for their precious little bundles of joy.
So why is Easter better? You'd think it would be at least somewhat similar, being an important Christian holiday based almost entirely on pagan traditions. But for some reason Easter has never bothered me, in fact it's my second favorite holiday. And here's why...
1- The candy. Yeah sure, Christmas has it's own candy, but it's just regular candy in different packaging, or maybe colors or shapes. Easter brings the most wonderful things on the planet, Cadbury eggs. The creme filled ones and the little candy coated chocolate ones, I love them both. I wait all year for them. And yes I know they have a Christmas version of the little ones, but it isn't the same.
2- The lack of music. At Christmas time the god-awful, mind-numbing, someone-please-stab-me-in-the-brain-and-make-it-stop music infiltrates every corner of my existence. I've never heard any Easter music. In fact the only song that comes to mind when I think of Easter is Peter Cottontail. I'm sure the Christians have some particular hymns they sing, but I don't have to hear them eight-and-a-half hours a day (510 minutes, just in case you were wondering) for three months.
4- The lack of religious bullshit. The basis of both holidays is, supposedly, based on Jesus. Being born, and then becoming a zombie as I understand it. But at Christmas everyone and their dog turns into an uber-Christian. Even people who haven't been to church in decades, who don't claim to be religious at any other time of the year, start spouting Fox News "War On Christmas" bullshit. And that's to say nothing for the regular uber-Christians. At Easter I will see an occasional Facebook post about "the true meaning of Easter" or the chocolate crosses next to the chocolate bunnies on the aisle in the grocery story, but that's about it. No one lectures me on how I am a bad person for not believing exactly the same thing they do.
5- The weather. I really hate to be cold, I would rather be way too hot than a little chilly. Easter is usually in the height of spring (the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox, and no, I didn't have to Google that). Where as Christmas is right after the winter solstice, cold and dark. I prefer pretty flowers and baby animals to snow and sub-zero temps.
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