Gushy-Girly Crap

They say opposites attract. (And don't ask who they are, they just fucking are, okay?) Now I can't imagine being attracted to someone who is completely opposite me, a conservative Christian who listens to country music and wants a buttload of kids. In fact I think that would end rather badly, if for some reason it were to ever start.

Luckily I am with a guy who is none of those things  Les and I are actually pretty similar, we're both nerds, but in different ways. He's into computers and news and tea, and I'm into books and science and coffee. We're both into politics to differing degrees, but our personal politics line up pretty well. We both like the same types of foods and have broadened each others' horizons since being together. But there is one pretty big way that we are completely opposite.

Les is really romantic, like traditional, roses and chocolates, gushy type romantic. He's really heartfelt and looks in my eyes and tells me he loves me. He gives me long, romantic, poetic greeting cards for special occasions and talks about his feelings. You, know gushy-girly crap.

I, on the other hand, refer to that kind of thing as "gushy-girly crap." I don't really do romance, in fact it makes me distinctly uncomfortable. I tell him I love him, but when I do it, it only takes three words. If I buy him candy it's probably because it was on sale. When I buy greeting cards they have to be funny, and preferably dirty. I do talk about my feelings if something is wrong. But my theory is that if he doesn't know I love him by now, based on the last six-and-a-half-years, that's his problem.  

I'm thinking this romantic side of Les's is either the result of being raised in a house with three women in it, or it's genetic. I also think my dislike of traditional romance is from either genetics or being raised with no women around. What made me think about all of this today was this post about the third anniversary of Les's brother and sister-in-law. (If you click the link, beware, annoying music will start to play, I apologize for that.) What a cute romantic story right? I suppose, if you're into that kind of thing. But it works for them, so good for them. However, if Les had done that on our anniversary, I would have been uncomfortable and told him that his vagina was showing.

I figure there must be a little bit of a romantic in me or I wouldn't have gotten married. But I didn't do the whole traditional wedding thing. We got married in a courthouse with the bare minimum of people in attendance. Part of the reason for this was financial, but I think a bigger part was me being uncomfortable standing in front of a whole bunch of people and talking about lovey-dovey stuff. I don't have a problem with public displays of affection, I'm okay holding hands and kissing in front of other people. But I'm uncomfortable talking about it with Les under normal circumstances, why would I want to do it in front of everyone I know?

Les has come to understand me a little better over the years I think, and has toned down his girly side. He's never gone all out for our anniversary like his brother did. In fact he forgot our second anniversary. And since then he has started a tradition of buying me candy corn, which is great. And I'm bringing him around on the cards. He doesn't quite get it but he's coming closer. Last year his sister had a baby on my birthday, in the morning, and named her Lucy, so Les got me a card, in the afternoon, with Lucy from the peanuts on it. I'm counting that as progress.